Moments in May

Many years ago while teaching 35+ piano students a week and juggling a growing family I came to realize that May resembled December,  and not in a good way…Laced with so many commitments as school was coming to a close.  Field days, concerts in many venues including my own studio recital, year end parties,  two of my children’s birthdays.  Graduations from anything and everything… Let’s throw in Mother’s day, that was occasionally not so pleasant… and May felt like a month to get through.  A race to the finish…  

 I have watched over the years it evolve into more of the same adding new venues. After last weekend’s prom, attending my last field day after 25 consecutive  years, and this week’s choir pop show, squeaky clean prom and Mother’s Day, I feel like I am at an amusement park with a new ride to catch every few days.

          Last Thursday it would be choir pop show.

 We have some history here.  

Starting nineteen years ago with Ryan’s first Junior High pop show less than a week after Madeline was born.  I remember vividly attending with a brand new little princess,

 Madeline Rose,

 Ryan singing his first pop show solo "The heart of Rock and Roll is The Music"…the first of many in the years to come.  Is it a wonder that  last night attending Klein High’s pop show would be “difficult” at best?  In the past 16 years there has only been one year where we didn’t have a child in Choir at Klein. 

MarShae singing "Heaven help My Heart", a fitting title...I can't help but reflect on all these traditions woven into our family.   

 I brace myself for the second half of the evening.  The opening number, “Set Fire To The Rain” by chamber choir is dedicated to Madeline.  This is not going well… 

Tears are flowing, as my mind reviews so many memories of Madie singing this solo two years ago, again with me accompanying her.

 We rehearsed it relentlessly so she would feel confident.

 My favorite memories were of her belting it at the top of her lungs when she thought she was home alone.  I remember her catching me listening once and she busted up laughing because she was so embarrassed... a classic Madie response

 I also remember vividly her excitement for Chorale's rendition of Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

She had the opening solo and had helped choreograph it.  Watch video below:

Back to the present...

As "Set Fire To The Rain" was performed Thursday night, I felt like I was alone in a crowd of people, lost in a sea of memories, just wishing I could have one more rehearsal with Madie seeing her bite the side of her lip at the end, or roll her eyes.

 Classic Madie...

 The closing numbers  are “You Raise Me Up” and then “How Can We Say Goodbye” rich in tradition, another flood of memories....

 I remember hearing these for the first time when MarShae was a baby at the end of Ryan’s freshman year, tears rolling down my cheeks as Ryan and Sheri Yano sang with the choir.  Sheri is a graduating Senior who I have known most of her life.  Just Three months earlier her precious sister Katie died in an accident… Tears bursting from my eyes as I understood in a very minuet way her mother’s double meaning to this song.

 It is a song I have loved and listened to every year since this first experience… Just last year I watched MarShae sneak up to join her sister Madeline as she sang it for her final time as a choir member… I had no way of knowing the new meaning this song would bring into my life. Because of the personal meaning to me I had it sang impromptu at Madie’s graveside by all Klein choir members from over the years who were there…

A memory I will never forget. .

  It was our last goodbye to Madeline Rose..

I  feel the need to hum from my seat as the combined choirs end the show with any alumni joining… I sing a few lines, so many memories... 

From there I look to this weekend with my first Mother’s Day broken inside, without my daughter, and my mother…

Madeline's rose blooming on her bush, a sweet hello..

 Over and over today I have heard coursing through my mind lyrics from this song, 

“How do we say goodbye when we never want it to end, why can’t we just pretend there’ll never be a goodbye, or farewell my friend, why must this be the end, someday we’ll meet again, till then we say goodbye”…

                                                        Good.... Bye......