Finding daylight when the unthinkable happens...

       

On November 20, 2012 The unthinkable happened,  two of my children were involved in a tragic accident leaving Madeline Rose instantly dead, and Taylor broken, literally dying at the scene.    

Taylor had proposed to Bailee, just hours before, and to surprise her family the three of them left to go to Arizona for Thanksgiving.  The trip was going splendidly, excitement, singing, sharing, planning. Suddenly their world turned upside down, and life as each of us close to them knew it, was instantly changed.

Bailee was able to miraculously help Taylor, saving his life until help arrived at the scene.  The accident happened in Orderville Utah, where their grandfather was born, but a place that they were passing through for the first time in their lives… Bailee felt help from above guiding her, calming her, giving her clarity of thought while experiencing this personal nightmare. I believe that there were deceased family members there, cheering her on, giving her knowledge to save Taylor’s life. Miracles happened, and have continued to happen, as I try to find who I am after the unthinkable happens. 

The journey begins….

I had a profound experience Nov.23^rd, in the early morning hours as sleep escaped me. Into my mind came the words, “Are you still Grateful?”  I had been writing gratitude posts everyday of November, a new experience for me, but I believe it prepared me for this tragic event. I wrestled with this thought…I was grateful, Taylor was alive, he wasn’t paralyzed, in fact with his broken neck and three vertebrates in his back, I answered, “yes… but no” I was grateful for the miracles surrounding Taylor, and heartbroken at the concept of life without my sweet girl..

 Into my mind came the words, “you could write about it and it would bless peoples’ lives, but it is your choice.”  I decided to attempt to write something, and wrote my first entry on facebook.  As soon as I started typing it was like pure intelligence flowed from my fingers.  I couldn’t type fast enough for what was coming to my mind. I haven’t ever written in my life, and now this?  I knew my Heavenly Father was showing me, directing me, teaching me and I would write, even though at times it has been difficult to be so open, transparent, and vulnerable.  I have found myself relying on help from angels seen and unseen, as the journey to finding light has been one of the hardest, most gut wrenching experiences of my life... Finding "joy" in the journey, a road less traveled... 

where to begin...