Feb 27th 2013
Today is just one of those days... another
paradigm shift.
Understanding that life is moving along and yet I still feel as shattered as ever. I feel like there is another level of goodbye
today.
As I watch her friends lives move along, doing things that she had planned, there is a place inside of me that screams, how can this be? How do I ever find a place of wholeness again? Why does it continue to hurt so deeply, and how long must I endure this pain?
I know that there are people everywhere struggling with different problems, it is part of life's journey. I realize I am not the first or the last to walk this path, and yet I don't know how to continue to smile and give the appropriate answers, when the truth is I have a hole inside of me that isn't going away any time soon. It cuts to my very core, and is the most terrifying experience I have ever had to wake up to day after day.
So even though life moves along for some, I find myself very much stuck in the past today, and I can't talk myself out of it, pray it away or pretend everything is okay because quit frankly, the truth is I can't imagine life without Madeline Morris in it... it just isn't okay with me...
Understanding that life is moving along and yet I still feel as shattered as ever. I feel like there is another level of goodbye
today.
As I watch her friends lives move along, doing things that she had planned, there is a place inside of me that screams, how can this be? How do I ever find a place of wholeness again? Why does it continue to hurt so deeply, and how long must I endure this pain?
I know that there are people everywhere struggling with different problems, it is part of life's journey. I realize I am not the first or the last to walk this path, and yet I don't know how to continue to smile and give the appropriate answers, when the truth is I have a hole inside of me that isn't going away any time soon. It cuts to my very core, and is the most terrifying experience I have ever had to wake up to day after day.
So even though life moves along for some, I find myself very much stuck in the past today, and I can't talk myself out of it, pray it away or pretend everything is okay because quit frankly, the truth is I can't imagine life without Madeline Morris in it... it just isn't okay with me...
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