Feb 12,2013   

There are days when what I am feeling are better left unsaid... Today would be one of those days. 
Oh how I long for the problems of old, the things that I thought rocked my world...
How I long for the tears of last years Valentines, which now seem so trite, 
Oh how I wish that every revelation that comes to me in my process of thinking were so easy to implement. 

I wish that I could see myself in 5 years and how this really was for my good, because my vision of that is very clouded.

Oh how I wish that life could be on a straighter course without the deviations of the heart,

How I wish that I wasn't acquainted with grief, that the answers of my faith made it easy to bear.

Oh how I wish that my children could have had a mother who wasn't so richly acquainted with grief.

Oh how I wish I could see clearly, the day when every tear would be wiped away, and I could see the refinement of my soul, that is a puddle of pity today.

Oh how I wish that I didn't understand this horrible heartache and pain.

I wish that it was easier to heal,

Yes I wish for many things, but I guess that would make the journey too easy...

So for now help me Lord to accept this burden as a little child, to see it as an opportunity to understand others with a kinder heart, help me to appreciate the journey....