The memories that surface, washing my soul, tears falling from an unlimited reservoir.. meeting solace, peace, that comes from above, as Heaven witnesses it knows my thoughts, tears and feelings.....
It gets frustrating, no tiring to have a good day, only to find a cloud hover on the following day, wondering how it can be that the good didn't last a few hours longer, the highs and lows get exhausting.
As I look around the neighborhood, seeing Christmas descending on many homes, I sometimes feel like I can do this, It could be fun.. Remembering the Christmas photo that we took now 3 years ago in front of the giant Santa that neighbors have put up for many, many years.
Then today I think "no, it's too much effort, for something that will be so hard."
I just went through a holiday, and while it was great to have the family together, it completely wore me out physically and emotionally.
I hate that my favorite time of year as a youth has turned into something that feels dreaded, a responsibility, something that's necessary, yet overwhelming at the same time.
It's the hardest kind of work.
The overcoming of me,
rising above my own pain to meet the needs of my family.
I am always amazed that when I am struggling there is something that comes... I was writing this blog entry when I got a message on Facebook. I clicked over to check it and read some sweet words from a friend, who must have heard, "send JoLynn a message". What I wasn't expecting though was that I noticed a video that had been sent by her a couple of weeks ago, and decided to watch it thinking I had seen it before, but couldn't remember what it was about. I was surprised to realize I'd never watched it.
It was an answer to my heart as I understood and was comforted to know again that Heaven is really close.
I knew that this was for me but also knew it went perfectly with my feelings today, and I needed to share it in this blog post that I was working on.
So for whoever it is that needs this today,(besides me)
I love you, and so does our Heavenly Father.
Enduring in Faith
http://www.lds.org/prophets-and-apostles/unto-all-the-world/enduring-in-faith?lang=eng&l=fb
Your an AMAZING Woman - We spoke 1 time on the phone, probably 3 1/2 years ago, though I'm sure you don't remember - in fact I'm sure you're wondering who I even am - or why you ever accepted me as a FB Friend... But, Even for those few min.on the phone I was touch and I was SO impressed with you and the obvious love and care you had for each of your family members. Although I never met you - I did meet Madie - at my Son's 16th Surprise B'day Party - over at SCO pool. What a Beautiful Young Woman she is/was. I'm SO thankful that my son got to know her, from Seminary and even Choir and HS in general - she was a positive influence in his life. I want to thank you for your wonderful, loving and heartfelt posts - they add SO much to my day, any time I take the time to read them. Despite the Extreme Challenges you have faced and will face Forever - you are one of Heavenly Fathers Choicest Beings - and BLESS the Lives of Everyone you come in contact with - ESPECIALLY Your Family! Thankyou for allowing me to be your FB Friend... <3 Sent to You Today, and Always...
ReplyDeleteI actually remember talking to you over the phone a couple of years ago about your sons birthday party. Madie and I talked later and she told me a little bit about him. I remember driving her over to the party. Thank you for your kindness and heartfelt post. You are really sweet to take the time to put a comment. I am grateful that she was a person that he will remember with positive thoughts. I do miss her, everyday!
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