There were countless hours of service rendered to put things away and bring some sense of order to our home. I can't begin to thank all who helped, it helped us be able to manage the past 6 months so much easier.
The thing was I knew it was lurking behind closed doors, and it has been very hard to even know where to start. My house was already full , and then it became even fuller as we accumulated more things.
All of Madie's belongings came back from BYU. Beautiful pictures and memorial items that I love have been added. Nothing having a permanent location. My main goal has been to get to the end of the school year. Anything more than that is "gold star" accomplishments. Nevertheless I have felt stuck in limbo since day one. So...
I have escaped to many things. trips, food, plays and musicals, a little gardening, and also the computer. If I sit here editing photos or writing, then I don't have to look around and see how much needs to be done and how overwhelmed I feel.
A dear friend and her daughters came to help yesterday, and I asked her to be ruthless.
Everything is sentimental when something like this happens, and yet really so much doesn't matter it is just hard to streamline because every where you turn brings up memories.
All was going really well.
My friend worked with my girls,
and I worked on little things everywhere else. I didn't expect to have some items be so hard to part with, even though it made perfect sense to let it go. I found as the day wore on that I suddenly started having strong stomach cramps. It reminded me of early labor pains. I tried ignoring it for awhile and then the little stroller went out to the curb and I had a flash of little girls with twin dolls pushing them around in their miniature stroller. My mind screamed, "not the stroller" even though I could see it was falling apart. It had provided many hours of make believe to my three little girls and my grandchildren. I reminded myself that I desperately wanted to lighten the space in our home and to have less to take care of.
I found it so weird to see how my body was reacting. So often in life, change is really hard, even if we know it's a good thing. I'm sure it didn't help that I had come across a book that Madie had written for an English project at the end of her freshman year. It was tucked away in our closet. I didn't remember ever seeing it, but as I read a few of the stories she had recorded from growing up it seemed more familiar. And yes, the tears and memories followed. The difference was seeing these occurrences through her eyes. Wow, mothering is full of mistakes...
But I'll let Madie tell the story...
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| It was perfect, I promise ! |
Spencer and Madie
Well, instead of cleaning out the closet I was planning on doing today, I got lost in preserving this treasure...
Now back to the other treasures awaiting me in these closets, like this one....
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| A few Mission memories from Ryan and Taylor |
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