Les Miserables,,,, the Movie

Dec 27,2012  Les Miserables...Has to be an all time favorite movie! I wasn't prepared for how incredibly hard it would be to emotionally get through watching it...Larry and I really struggled and I haven't ever watched a movie that had so many different emotions for me personally to experience. I have loved the music from this for over twenty years.. I have the cd in my car and I remember singing songs from it with Madeline and MarShae while driving around during the last couple of months Madie lived at home ...many points of reference of love and great personal loss, with perspectives from many angles.. 

I was completely touched by the greatness of the movie, and overcome with personal emotion of a loving mother, protecting others, a life that was saved and the happiness of the young love being able to be together, the father willing to sacrifice his own desires for the better good of Cosette.. Not to mention "Bring him home', "Empty Chairs and empty Tables" 

I would like to see it again, now that I am prepared emotionally and can just enjoy the beautiful work that was created without the strong emotional attachment. Oh how I miss Madeline Rose.... I can't imagine that will ever change, hopefully it will get easier with the passage of time...

Dec 28,2013  There's a grief that can't be spoken....... and the pain goes on and on.... Oh how I wish that I didn't understand these words so clearly. 

I am amazed at the process of life and life's experiences. On one hand an absolute knowledge of the Lord's hand in all things. Blessings and miracles... mere coincidences that just aren't...
On the other hand, heartache that is so deep it really can't be spoken, but thankfully can be comforted through the Holy Ghost, and the blessings of others, lifting our burdens, lightening our load.

Oh how I wish this could be different... that I could be the one lifting someone else's load, and yet for whatever reason, this is a part of my life's experience. I have felt in so many ways that I am in the fastest tutorial, and living only what I would have previously called a nightmare, and yet absolute miracles have been a part of my daily walk since this has occurred. 

Such a split of emotions...Absolute humbling gratitude for the grace of God, shown forth in countless tender mercies, love and generosity, kindness beyond words to express... so even though the grief is unspeakable, I also find my heart bursting with gratitude, that also can't be spoken...and and even though I wish I didn't understand the depth of both sides , I am humbled to my core that the Lord has shown me his great power, love and hand in my life and in the lives of those around me...again I must state emphatically..."Be Still, and KNOW, that I am GOD"

but alas... I wish this was easier...