Hope of good things to come,..

As the new year was approaching, I found myself constantly pondering on the significance of the end of the holiday season for me personally. I was grateful to have a way to mark off the end of the most trying year of my life.  It was strange to have the New Year approaching at the end of the most personally challenging holiday season I have been conscience through.  Last year with Madie dying at Thanksgiving time, and Taylor's near death, then miraculous recovery occurring during the holiday's I find myself with only faint recollections of 2012's holidays.  

This year was completely different, and my gut instinct was to run fast and hard, but my responsible self knew that I needed to find a way to celebrate for my family.  
I am grateful for discovering the 17 second rule because it gave me tools to maneuver through all the landmines of our holiday traditions. Although there were some rough moments during the last half of December, it was far better then the first half had begun.  Christmas day was better then I expected on many levels even though I woke with a dull  headache that followed me through the next few days. In spite of that I thoroughly enjoyed how happy everyone was, and watching the joy my children felt at really surprising others with wonderful gifts. It was a beautiful experience to see them grow into being "Santa's", and the joy that comes from making others really happy.

 On the flip side though, I finally realize I had to let some pent up emotions explode .  It was hard because I wasn't alone, but finally determined that my headache wasn't going to improve until I did.  I went out to my car and had a full blown temper tantrum (it happens).  I found it helped my headache to finally dissipate. I was so angry that Madie was dead, and that getting through the holidays took so much mental focus and discipline. To try and explain the depth of my longing to have some kind of physical connection with her is impossible.  
Even so as I looked to the new year I wanted to know what the Lord's will was for me.  "What things could I do or change to help 2014 be better?" 
  After much thought and prayer the answer came fairly simply, your super power this year is Love.  Unconditionally loving others will be what brings the most peace, and makes the most profound changes in the quality of my life.  I have thought about this relentlessly over the past week.

  My super power is love!  

It is what every human longs for. Love works when nothing else will.  I'll admit it's easier said then done, but having  pondered on it at length I am more aware when I find myself judging, frustrated or unhappy with someone or their actions.  As I try to see each person through eyes of unconditional love, then my 17 second rule becomes a new way of living.  I find myself applying it's concepts with the principles of unconditional love, realizing I have a very short window of time to redirect my thoughts.  It is the next step in my 17 second challenge.  So far it has brought peace and joy when I chose to overlook the irritants that are human nature in all of us, and envision children of God who are struggling through mortality. 2014 has seemed easier, better.  There is something symbolic I guess to closing off a year and beginning another.  I've already had some wonderful moments.
My favorite would have to be the privilege of attending a vocal concert Jan 3rd featuring soprano Rachelle Woolston. Even though the music was diverse and technically challenging, Rachelle was brilliant. Her musicality stirred emotions deep within my soul.  I knew I was experiencing something rare, as I felt my soul connect with her. 
She concluded the evening with "Abide with Me Tis Eventide"  I found cleansing tears flowing unashamedly.  I sensed that heaven was aware of me, as I experienced the beauty of her performance.

It was a perfect beginning to 2014.

I have also been working on some costumes for Klein's musical that MarShae is participating in and have had some treasured moments with MarShae and others who are involved in the production. 
This would be another favorite  moment as MarShae 

 entered the land of sewing, and helped with her costumes. She also made a skirt for another cast member with her friend Rachel working on a skirt as well.  I enjoyed the process of teaching them a new skill and their personal satisfaction when they realized what they had accomplished and that's what 2014 looks like so far in my world...