Why?

  I guess I wouldn't be human if I didn't ask the question, so I will just say that I have, more than once. In fact there are times when it is the plea of my heart.. WHY????

 Why Madie?

            Why our family?

                                 Why me?

Why this particular challenge, trial or opportunity?
  Over time some answers have come, whether they are correct or complete, is doubtful, but they have given me some understanding.
First-  Why Madie? 
 As I have poured over her journals, and had things brought  to my memory that she shared with me, I believe she was ready and had passed a personal Abrahamic test just weeks before her death.  She was willing to sacrifice whatever the Lord desired to do his will, and through this righteous submission, she was needed.  I personally believe the Lord is preparing the world for the Second Coming of Jesus Christ and because of this needs an army of help on both sides of the veil, meaning here in mortality and also in the next realm preparing others who haven't learned about Christ so that they too can be saved through Christ.

Why our family?  
This is harder for me to answer, but I guess it is better to just say why not?

Why me?  
That is an area that I have spent a great deal of time pondering on and looking for answers.  I believe that some of it is because of pride.  I was reading some scriptures today and pondering on them and understanding came of things I needed to work on. 
2 Corinthians 7-10
7 And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a ^bthorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure.

 8 For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me.

 9 And he said unto me, My ^agrace is sufficient for thee: for my^bstrength is made perfect in ^cweakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may ^drest upon me.

 10 Therefore I take pleasure in ^ainfirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in ^bpersecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am ^cweak, then am I ^dstrong. 

And also
Helaman 12 2-3 (From the Book of Mormon)

 2 Yea, and we may see at the very ^atime when he doth ^bprosper his people, yea, in the increase of their fields, their flocks and their herds, and in gold, and in silver, and in all manner of^cprecious things of every kind and art; sparing their lives, and delivering them out of the hands of their enemies; softening the hearts of their enemies that they should not declare wars against them; yea, and in fine, doing all things for the welfare and happiness of his people; yea, then is the time that they do ^dharden their hearts, and do ^eforget the Lord their God, and do ^ftrample under their feet the Holy One—yea, and this because of their ease, and their exceedingly great prosperity.

 3 And thus we see that except the Lord doth ^achasten his people with many afflictions, yea, except he doth visit them with ^bdeath and with terror, and with famine and with all manner of pestilence, they will not ^cremember him.

 I feel I needed this opportunity to grow and become more compassionate, and childlike, being submissive to my loving Heavenly Father's will.  I have come to know that Heavenly Father doesn't give us anything in our lives that isn't necessary for our eternal progression back to the presence of God the Father through the grace and atonement of his son, Jesus Christ.  Nothing... Everything is necessary.  This has been witnessed to me through sacred experiences.  
 I find myself asking again, what would you have me learn?  How can I become the daughter of God that I have always been but can't remember? 
The words from a simple song come to mind, a song that was the lullaby that I sang to my children. " I am a Child of God, and so my needs are great help me to understand his will before it grows to late. Lead me guide me walk beside me, help me find the way... teach me all that I must do, to live with him someday." 

I also find great comfort in many who reach out with inspired words, thoughts or music, often at a most poinent  time.  The video below was recently shared while I was writing this entry, and gave me great comfort.  It doesn't hurt that the song being performed was composed by Rob Gardner. His music has been my most listened to since the accident.  He spent several days in Las Vegas with us after the accident to support his dear friends Bailee and her sister Linsey.  I will be forever grateful for him following a prompting to come to Las Vegas, because through meeting him and getting to know him I felt that my Heavenly Father was aware of music that I would need as I healed from losing my sweet daughter Madeline Rose. 
 I have listened to the video several times since last night, and felt great comfort, as I have pondered on the repeated message, "My Kindness Shall not depart from thee." 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dwzMNKAT0p4&feature=youtu.be