Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Sacred days...

This past Sunday in church we had a special meeting where leaders from our Stake were there for a once a year "ward conference".  For any who don't understand this jargon, we are divided into "wards" each consisting of about 350 members that live relatively close to each other.  There are about 8-10 wards that will be part of a Stake, and  a group of three men who lead our Stake.
 Our "Stake President" was speaking in our Sacrament Meeting Sunday, and was reviewing the letter issued to all members of the Stake at the beginning of this past year.  One of the areas that he was going over was always having a date set for our next visit to the temple.  I had recently set a goal to go twice a week, since I had gotten out of the habit of going regularly  since Madie had died.  I was going once maybe twice a month, and with the freedom of time I have, I knew I could go a lot more then that.  So even though I had set the goal to go early Wednesday mornings  a few weeks ago, I felt when I got home Sunday from church I needed to write down a plan for my week.   With Sterling and Kathy's baby that was overdue, and with MarShae turning 18 on Thursday and planning a big birthday party for her Friday, I knew that any of the scheduled events could get postponed, but I felt like I should to go to the Temple when it opened Tuesday morning, that way if Kathy went into Labor and Tuesday didn't work I could default to Wednesday morning. 

Tuesday I woke up right before 7 and got ready.  I was excited for the day and had meaningful prayers about working on becoming more charitable in my heart, and bringing it into my home and relationships with my family members.  I realized that if I couldn't become charitable with the people I loved most how could I extend it outside my family?  I pondered on the way to the temple,  on areas that I needed to repent of, and asked for forgiveness for my selfishness.  It was a very sweet moment for me, and why I don't start each day like this is beyond me, but also a good new habit to incorporate.

As I was in the temple I felt like my mind was so clear and promptings were coming very easily.  I felt mentally invigorated and was so happy to feel the connection to above.  I had some beautiful experiences during my 3 hours I was there, and felt very close to Heaven and experienced several "coincidences".


I was told by a general authority, who happened to be also attending the 8 am session, that there are "no coincidences with God".

He knew that our paths had crossed once again, and that for some reason he has crossed the path of family members of mine repeatedly during the past year.  As we visited about how I was doing with all that has happened, and I mentioned that I had a son who's wife was expecting a baby any moment, he gave me some great council concerning various areas in my life. We talked about the mission that Madie was on.   We both knew that God had been in the details of our meeting that day again. 

 Little did I know, Sterling had tried to call me right as I had turned off my phone to let me know Kathy was being induced.  When I got the news around noon, I was overjoyed that so many aspects of the day had fallen so smoothly into place, including feeling like I should stop and get the things for MarShae's party as I left the temple. I felt so blessed to know we could take off for College Station and I had accomplished important details for the needed outcome of my week.
 We arrived at the hospital just as Rowan was born.  All the way there I knew in my heart it was going to be very close, and to hear Rowan greeting the world with a good set of lungs and his new father, Sterling laughing was pure joy to my heart.












Was Madie around today? 
 My guess is she was very close and aware of this momentous occasion. 

 She always has adored her big brother Sterling and his wife Kathy, and knowing that she died on Sterling's birthday I was very sure that the reason my mind was so clear and aware, and that everything lined up perfectly came back to following the council of my Stake President and setting the date for my next visit to the temple.  As he said, "each time you leave the Temple, set a date for when you will return again."  I am learning that when we are obedient to the promptings we receive and follow through with them, greater blessings follow.
I was asked today if I had had a chance to have Madie visit me since she has died, which I answered " not in the way that I am longing for, but I have faith that she is shining through in all of the "Madie hello's" that I see".  I have come to know that Heaven is aware of our very thoughts and there to bless us as we ask in faith, the key for me is keeping my mind open to look for the ways in which I see the miracles around me.

I woke up early this morning, Aug 20th and all day have felt an absolute peace, that defies explanation.  I find it so weird because it is the 21 month anniversary of Madie's death.  It's the first time I have found myself on the 20th of the month without conflicting emotions.  Maybe it's because of the experiences of yesterday, but I can't help but hope that as I put my faith in serving and figuring out what God wants me to do with my time, that he will bless me with a continued peace that isn't so fleeting.

In honor of Madie that I long for, Rowan that I welcome, and MarShae who is now officially 18 years old,


 I leave my testimony that I know God is aware of us as individuals.  That he knows us personally and is aware of our needs.  He loves us more then I can comprehend.  I know it because I saw too many things line up in miraculous ways that still has my brain spinning.



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