. I had an experience last week, on July 21, 2013 filling in at the last minute as the primary children's chorister during the last two hours of church. I have had that assignment, or calling about seven times in my life starting as a teenager, again right before I was married and several times over the past 32 years. All of my children have had me as their chorister at some point in their primary experiences. The song of the month was" Families can be Together Forever".
(I have a family here on earth, they are so good to me , I want to share my life with them through all eternity.
(chorus)
Families can be together forever, through Heavenly Father's plan, I always want to be in my own family, and the Lord has shown me how I can.
While I am in my early years, I'll prepare most carefully, so I can marry in God's temple for eternity.( Chorus)
As I was working on it with the older children the spirit told me to share my experiences with this song. I had taught this song for the first time in 1980 when it was the new song composed that year for the primary program along with" I love to see the Temple". I was engaged to be married, and preparing to go to the temple while I was teaching this new song to the children ages 3-11. I shared this history with the children and we sang it again, only to feel prompted that I needed to talk about Madie.
I wasn't sure if I could and keep my emotions intact but went forward and witnessed a beautiful spirit enter primary, just a day after the 8 month anniversary of Madie's death. I explained to them that these words that tell a story in this song have always been an idea of hope that I have based many of my life decisions on, but since losing Madie I have needed to know that they are true, in a different way than I have desired to know before. I felt power from on high as I bore testimony to them that I know we can be together as families after this life. I expressed to them that I have had sacred experiences that have helped me know she isn't too far away.
I was so grateful when I had another one on this past Sunday, July 28,2013 also my son Taylor's 24th birthday.
During Sacrament Meeting I play the sacrament hymn on the organ each Sunday and fill in when one of the youth organists can't learn their song for that week or have a conflict. I was playing and the chapel was filled. Dannee Clay was speaking prior to leaving on her mission, so we had lots of visitors. Dannee and Madie have been friends since they were 4 or 5 when the Clay's moved here.
Memories are flowing...
I am remembering many years ago when Madie was standing exactly where Dannee is now speaking giving her first talk..
I am remembering girls playing dress up,
I am realizing this quartet is now a trio-
the memories running through my brain.
I suspected it might be hard for me to have yet another friend of Madie's leaving on their mission, knowing that Madie was called to "special forces" as I like to think of it.
I usually don't get emotional while I am playing the organ, because my left brain is engaged in focusing on the music but I felt the emotions rising. I was able to finish then had a sweet experience during the sacrament. I felt love and renewal enter my body and spirit, but filled with an unusual amount of tears. I wanted them to stop but they just kept flowing. I asked for help from my Savior Jesus Christ through his atonement, to heal my broken heart again. I felt comfort and asked that I would somehow know Madie was there today or at least that my Heavenly Father knew that I needed to have something from her to comfort me.
During Dannee's talk I did pretty well, even though she brought up Madie and an experience with her death, she had asked prior to her speaking and I was happy she wanted to include something about Madie.
It doesn't bother me if people talk about her, even if I tear up. tears are a part of my life, but it is harder for me to think that she will be forgotten, a common fear of mothers who lose a child I have been told repeatedly by others.
Dannee's talk was awesome. She then performed with her brother and sister a special musical number, "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing".
That song has ties to me of a previous funeral when I directed a choir after a young man had passed away. Because of my experiences with that beautiful song and his funeral, the tears just started pouring out. The music was beautiful, but I also realized again the music that wouldn't ever be the same in our family, not in this life time anyways. Even so, I do love the Clay family and am so happy they share their talents!
After sacrament meeting, I had to hurry to primary to substitute again today singing with the children. I had another great week with the kids. It was nice to feel the love that flows through music.
After our meetings were over, I saw a guy who I hadn't seen in years. His name is Clark Rumsey and he grew up in our area. He is moving into our ward and so we were catching up. He was in my son Ryan's first musical when Ryan was a freshman in High School and MarShae was a newborn.
He had seen MarShae getting her certificate of graduation from seminary in Sacrament meeting that day and asked if she was the baby from that year that I brought up to the High School all the time and was passed around the cast of the show.
(no wonder MarShae is such a natural on stage)
Anyways MarShae soon joined us because church had been over for awhile. She was blown away because she had watched videos from the show and remembered him. He was in awe of what she looks like almost 17 years later.
As we were visiting, a lady came out of the primary room, from another ward, who I don't know but MarShae said "Mom look at her shoes!" I looked as she was walking to us and stopped her because I really wanted to ask her if I could have her shoes, (I know crazy thought)
I told her my daughter had a pair exactly like them we chatted briefly and she was on her way. MarShae asked if I noticed her necklace, and to be honest I couldn't take my gaze off of her shoes. There were Madie's shoes that somehow disappeared and never came home with her things from the Y. MarShae and I had often commented on two pairs that we don't know what happened to, those being one of the pairs. ( Her Nike high tops also never made it back)
This pair of shoes had an interesting story behind them. During the summer before Madie's senior year MarShae, Madie, Marielle and a few others were invited to April Mclane's for a movie night. My husband and I drove them over to her house which was about 30 minutes away. We went to a movie, and then were passing time at Target while they were there. While at the Target store, we came across these shoes and they had been clearanced to 2 dollars. I thought that Madie might think they were cute, but Larry was sure I was wasting my money. I said to him, " for 2 bucks it's worth the chance". Well I was right and she loved them.
Now to the necklace the sister was wearing. For Christmas this past year Taylor and Bailee had necklaces made from this company called origami owl. They had one made for each of us ( all of the girls that is) Mine has a circle that says always, the back of the locket says family, and it has angel wings, Madie's birthstone, and a music note inside of it.
We love our necklaces, and this lady had one on. So there I am realizing that as she was getting ready sometime after my prayer was uttered about 3 hours earlier, she felt inspired to wear Madie's shoes and her origami owl necklace. Also that we happened to be standing there at least a half hour after our meetings were over, as she walked out of the primary room on an errand. I knew that my prayers were heard and in a way Madie walked past us that day. I sense that Heaven is closer than we realize, and even though I haven't had dreams that I can remember about her, felt her like I would like, or been able to have experiences like others have had, that she got through to me in a way that I would recognize. I miss her, and love her so much. I wish I could tell her goodbye and give her a hug, but I daily hold to the promise that all my tears will be wiped away, and that someday I will see through the glass clearly, that is now so cloudy and obstructing my view.
On a different note, we listened as a family to this conference talk last Saturday night in preparation for Sunday youth meetings. It really was powerful to listen to and made me realize why Richard G. Scott is an apostle, He hasn't lived a life of ease, but has been strong in his commitment to the gospel of Jesus Christ, even through great personal sacrifices. I love how he tenderly speaks of his own loss of two children just weeks apart from each other. He is inspiring to me as to how I want to live my life, in the face of adversity and sorrow. Enjoy watching as we did as a family, and felt a spirit of comfort come over our home.
( Written text from video) .
Each member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is blessed to live in a time when the Lord has inspired His prophets to provide significantly increased accessibility to the holy temples. With careful planning and some sacrifice, the majority of the members of the Church can receive the ordinances of the temple for themselves and for their ancestors and be blessed by the covenants made therein.
Because I love you, I am going to speak to you heart to heart, without mincing words. I have seen that many times individuals have made great sacrifices to go to a distant temple. But when a temple is built close by, within a short time, many do not visit it regularly. I have a suggestion: When a temple is conveniently nearby, small things may interrupt your plans to go to the temple. Set specific goals, considering your circumstances, of when you can and will participate in temple ordinances. Then do not allow anything to interfere with that plan. This pattern will guarantee that those who live in the shadow of a temple will be as blessed as are those who plan far ahead and make a long trip to the temple.
Fourteen years ago I decided to attend the temple and complete an ordinance at least once a week. When I am traveling I make up the missed visits in order to achieve that objective. I have kept that resolve, and it has changed my life profoundly. I strive to participate in all the different ordinances available in the temple.
I encourage you to establish your own goal of how frequently you will avail yourself of the ordinances offered in our operating temples. What is there that is more important than attending and participating in the ordinances of the temple? What activity could have a greater impact and provide more joy and profound happiness for a couple than worshipping together in the temple?
Now I share some additional suggestions of how to gain more benefit from temple attendance.
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Understand the doctrine related to temple ordinances, especially the significance of the Atonement of Jesus Christ.
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While participating in temple ordinances, consider your relationship to Jesus Christ and His relationship to our Heavenly Father. This simple act will lead to greater understanding of the supernal nature of the temple ordinances.
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Always prayerfully express
gratitude for the incomparable blessings that flow from temple ordinances. Live each day so as to give evidence to Father in Heaven and His Beloved Son of how very much those blessings mean to you.
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Schedule regular visits to the temple.
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Leave sufficient time to be unhurried within the temple walls.
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Rotate activities so that you can participate in all of the ordinances of the temple.
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Remove your watch when you enter a house of the Lord.
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Listen carefully to the presentation of each element of the ordinance with an open mind and heart.
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Be mindful of the individual for whom you are performing the vicarious ordinance. At times pray that he or she will recognize the vital importance of the ordinances and be worthy or prepare to be worthy to benefit from them.
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Recognize that much of the majesty of the sealing ordinance cannot be understood and remembered with one live experience. Substantial subsequent vicarious work permits one to understand much more of what is communicated in the live ordinances.
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Realize that a sealing ordinance is not enduring until after it is sealed by the Holy Spirit of Promise. Both individuals must be worthy and want the sealing to be eternal.
If as a couple you have not yet been sealed in the temple, consider this scripture:
“In the celestial glory there are three heavens or degrees;
“And in order to obtain the highest, a man must enter into this order of the priesthood [meaning the new and everlasting covenant of marriage];
“And if he does not, he cannot obtain it.
“He may enter into the other, but that is the end of his kingdom; he cannot have an increase” (
D&C 131:1–4).
Sometimes when I hear a choir during a temple dedicatory service, I experience a feeling so sublime that it elevates my heart and mind. I close my eyes, and more than once, in my mind, I have seen an inverted cone of individuals beginning at the temple and rising upward. I have felt that they represent many spirits waiting for the vicarious work to be done for them in that sanctuary, rejoicing because finally there is a place that can free them from the chains that hold them back in their eternal progress. In order to achieve this end, you will need to do the vicarious work. You will need to identify your ancestors. The new FamilySearch™ program makes the effort easier than before. It is necessary to identify those ancestors, qualify them, and come to the house of the Lord to perform the ordinances they are longing to receive. What a joy it is to be able to participate in the work of a temple!
I would like to relate the experience of an ancestor of my wife, Jeanene. Her name is Sarah DeArmon Pea Rich. Her commentary shows the impact that the temple can have in our lives. When she was 31 years old, she received a calling from Brigham Young to work in the Nauvoo Temple, where all the ordinances possible were performed before the Saints had to abandon that temple. This is what she wrote:
“Many were the blessings we had received in the house of the Lord, which has caused us joy and comfort in the midst of all our sorrows and enabled us to have faith in God, knowing He would guide us and sustain us in the unknown journey that lay before us. For if it had not been for the faith and knowledge that was bestowed upon us in that temple by the influence and help of the Spirit of the Lord, our journey would have been like one taking a leap in the dark. To start out on such a journey in the winter as it were and in our state of poverty, it would seem like walking into the jaws of death. But we had faith in our Heavenly Father, and we put our trust in Him feeling that we were His chosen people and had embraced His gospel, and instead of sorrow, we felt to rejoice that the day of our deliverance had come.”
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Now I would like to speak of the special meaning the temple has for me. Part of this message is going to be sensitive, so I will appreciate your prayers as I give it so that I do not become too emotional.
Fourteen years ago the Lord took my wife beyond the veil. I love her with all my heart, but I have never complained because I know it was His will. I have never asked why but rather what is it that He wants me to learn from this experience. I believe that is a good way to face the unpleasant things in our lives, not complaining but thanking the Lord for the trust He places in us when He gives us the opportunity to overcome difficulties.
We had the blessing of having children. A daughter, the first child, continues to be an enormous blessing in our lives. A couple of years later a son we named Richard was born. A few years later a daughter was born. She died after living only a few minutes.
Our son, Richard, was born with a heart defect. We were told that unless that could be cured, there was little probability that he would live more than two or three years. This was so long ago that techniques now used to repair such defects were unknown. We had the blessing of having a place where doctors agreed to attempt to perform the needed surgery. The surgery had to be done while his little heart was beating.
The surgery was performed just six weeks after the birth and death of our baby daughter. When the operation finished, the principal surgeon came in and said it was a success. And we thought, “How wonderful! Our son will have a strong body, be able to run and walk and grow!” We expressed deep gratitude to the Lord. Then about 10 minutes later, the same doctor came in with an ashen face and told us, “Your son has died.” Apparently the shock of the operation was more than his little body could endure.
Later, during the night, I embraced my wife and said to her, “We do not need to worry, because our children were born in the covenant. We have the assurance that we will have them with us in the future. Now we have a reason to live extremely well. We have a son and a daughter who have qualified to go to the celestial kingdom because they died before the age of eight.” That knowledge has given us great comfort. We rejoice in the knowledge that all seven of our children are sealed to us for time and all eternity.
That trial has not been a problem for either of us because, when we live righteously and have received the ordinances of the temple, everything else is in the hands of the Lord. We can do the best we can, but the final outcome is up to Him. We should never complain, when we are living worthily, about what happens in our lives.
Fourteen years ago the Lord decided it was not necessary for my wife to live any longer on the earth, and He took her to the other side of the veil. I confess that there are times when it is difficult not to be able to turn and talk to her, but I do not complain. The Lord has allowed me, at important moments in my life, to feel her influence through the veil.
What I am trying to teach is that when we keep the temple covenants we have made and when we live righteously in order to maintain the blessings promised by those ordinances, then come what may, we have no reason to worry or to feel despondent.
I know that I will have the privilege of being with that beautiful wife, whom I love with all my heart, and with those children who are with her on the other side of the veil because of the ordinances that are performed in the temple. What a blessing to have once again on the earth the sealing authority, not only for this mortal life but for the eternities. I am grateful that the Lord has restored His gospel in its fulness, including the ordinances that are required for us to be happy in the world and to live everlastingly happy lives in the hereafter.
This is the work of the Lord. Jesus Christ lives. This is His Church. I am a witness of Him and of His Atonement, which is the foundation that makes effective and lasting every ordinance performed in the temples. I so testify with every capacity I possess, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
This was her last night in her room, and our home,
as she was repacking up her things to go back to BYU after being home for her 2 week break. So grateful that MarShae grabbed several pictures that night.
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